"depression" setting in | it's only day 1 | like a slap on the face, day 1 is Mother's Day | a mother left childless on MD | second time around | and the tears won't stop | can't wait for Saturday | the day when I get to see that smile rushing towards me...
*I MISS MY BABY!
it's been awhile | supposed to be at oktoberfest | curfew kept me out to on restricted times (ealier that is) | lock down | it turned out to be the crest | kole teaching me how to play pool | many glasses of hefeinweizer beer with lime | shots of patron silver | many bathroon breaks | playing erotic games(spot the difference, besides the boobs) | knknnip | pretty much tipsy | wild moments with coworker | god bless america...
benicio del toro vs. the man | best of friends gone wrong | all my fault | lots of misunderstanding | plenty of stubbornness | maybe too much pride | setting it all aside | "dude, you're so gay" | starting with a clean slate | no strings attached | constantine is back | two most important men in this chick's book | aligned once again | mabuhay ang mga batang malou...
came in 9:00 pm tuesday night | off to a good start | painless contractions that are 2 - 3 minutes apart | a night full of rest | my mother "pressing away" as i had my silent contractions | ruptured bag 12 hours later | growing bed sores and back aches | finally realized what contractions felt like | caving into epidural by lunch | more rest | this time fighting off nausea | resorted to yacking out bile since there's nothing else to yack out | progress slowed down | 22 hours of labor and only dilated to 6 cm without my girl dropping | by the 23rd hour, it was decided that c-section was needed | by 8:42 pm, my girl came out | along with vomitting more bile | very hellish ordeal | but all with a purpose | and i must say, it was well worth it...
she finally cooperated with us | just for a short moment, she allowed us to take pictures | such a shy girl | i guess she could sense our restlessness | so she finally gave in | moved the hand... and foot | and finally showed her face...
things are definite now | and the coffee bean finally showed itself | i'm happy | i sense that the man is a little disappointed at the outcome | but the excitement is still there | now all that awaits is the arrival | but for now, however you pronounce it | lyla it is...
had an interesting dream | lead roles: my angel and my girl | it was weird seeing them together | so many similarities, yet so different | both knew of each other, yet they seemed ok with it | near the end, my angel approached me and asked why i was crying | i couldn't speak | then came the hug | just melted | my angel and my girl felt good in my arms | then i woke up to realize that i was crying in my sleep | and all i could do was smile | what a dream indeed...
the man has been complaining about toying with his feelings | let me explain | the little one has been very active lately | so active that a few people have actually felt my girl's presence | and the man has been feeling left out | such a tease, he says | i'm sorry | wait a little longer | then you get to feel the way i do when i feel the movements | simply amazing...
been feeling emotional lately (figures) | so it wasn't a surprise that i found myself crying recently | it's cuz of the warm and fuzzy feeling i had when i heard that familiar voice | quia's voice | i felt more at ease just hearing it | it's been so long | i just missed her | though the conversation wasn't long, it was enough to move me | i sure hope we get to talk more often, girl | especially now that you know how much it affects me...
on a day where i finally get some time off to relax, i found myself fantasizing | daydreaming about all the "moments" | just off the top of my head | the octopus ride laughing my ass off as the world whirled by | waking up to be greeted by the sun and the crazy idea to suddenly jump into the icy cold beach at subic (invigorating yet left me feeling queasy) | spending what seemed to be a lifetime at "the spot" in baywalk watching people walk by and enjoying the night (with a guy showing off his snakes) | finding haven in the car to escape the rain one unforgettable night | walking in the rain, completely drenched, without a care in the world (especially not the money problems) just to see the bay | the roadtrip that led us nowhere yet managed to change everything for me | ah the moments | and as reality sinks in for me | all that i could do is hold on to these moments | moments that made life worth living...
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